I should really go to bed
do people say “bad neighborhood” for cities next to all-white high schools where the boys are getting high every day and raping girls? do they even say “bad neighborhood” for cities with large kkk meetings? or is bad neighborhood a strictly anti-black code?
PSA: Big corporations putting feel good feminist messages in their advertisements wont result in women’s liberation as much as it will result in goading liberal minded folks to buy more shampoo or whatever. There’s no point in fawning over these commercials.
I know what you were talking about with "It really fucking sucks to follow men who..." is 100% true, but what we should do :/? Sometimes we just reblog what radfems say because we have a (vague) idea about your daily struggle, and think you're right. A lot of times we don't even give our own opinions because we know they are unasked. But isn't doing nothing exactly the same than oppression? What do you think we should do? I'm a man, btw that's the reason of my concern.@elparra
Taking a step back and being in a supporting role is not the same as doing nothing. You have to be aware that, as a man, you have been socialized to take space, to speak out and to feel entitled to have a voice and an opinion. While this might sound like basic humanity for you, you have to be aware that women are taught from birth to be exactly the opposite. We are taught to shrink ourselves, to be silent and to defer to men, so, for a woman, speaking out about our oppression is an act of bravery. Specially because we know we will get backlash for it, which you will not. The worst you’ll get is some other dude thinking you’re “pussy-whipped”, while we will have the death and rape threats. And people, both men and women, will take a man’s voice more seriously because they’ve been socialized to see men as authority figures.
As a man, you have a moral obligation to actively combat your own socialization. Speaking out is not as effective or as important as supporting the voices of women. You have to be extra aware of when you are acting entitled, when you are taking space. You have to hold back that defensive gut instinct of saying “but I’m not like this!” when a woman says that men do some kind of horrible thing. Because, as a class, men do cause horrible things. You can reblog things that women say to give them more reach, but the best you do is to be in a support role and not actively push your opinion, even if you have good intentions, because your voice will be heard over those of women. We should not be prioritizing you, catering to you or going out of our way to make you comfortable. Real feminism should make you uncomfortable as hell, since it will question every one of your privileges and put you on the spot. It’s supposed to be a safe, nurturing space for us, not for you. You have the whole world.
The only moment where you should speak out, IMO, is when you’re with a male-only audience who wouldn’t listen to a woman. For example, if you’re in a pub with your male friends and one of then makes a sexist joke, call him out. You see a coworker being a dick to a woman, call him out. You see some dude being gross and hitting on a cashier who cannot speak back or she might lose her job, call him out. You will lose social reputation for doing that, you will be called names, but these are things that actually help. Speaking over us doesn’t help.
And listen to what women say. Truly listen. Even if what she’s saying is so detached from your reality that it sounds like madness, listen to her. Men have no idea of the casual sexism, sexual harrassment and generalized dismissing we have to go through every single day, and usually think we are exagerating when we speak about it. So sit back and listen, and believe her.
That third paragraph is super important. The absolute #1 thing a man can do to help women is to confront his fellow men on their misogyny. If you think it’s intimidating to talk to other men about their gross, harassing behaviour toward women, try to imagine how women feel being the constant target of that behaviour. When you as a man tell other men to respect women, they might laugh at you or question your masculinity. When we as women tell men to respect us, they increase their spite or physically hurt us. Nothing you post or reblog on your blog is going to be a fraction as effective as organising against male violence in real life. The least you can do is stop your own friends from harassing, abusing, and raping women.
Oh, and stop watching porn.
Reblogging for the comment.
People say to me a lot, in defense of sexist ads, that “sex sells.”
It’s actually been proven again and again that sex and sexism doesn’t sell products (especially cheap ones to women). Sex gets people’s attention, yes – but unlike ads which play on deeper emotion, people don’t actually connect that desire with the product.
What does that mean? It means that all of these ads – these sexist stereotypes, the race to the bottom, are not actually done to sell products, in the longrun, but to perpetuate a certain point of view. These ads exist to tell women their place in the world, in the home, in relation to men.
people sure do get suuuuuper mad when you tell them that you think they’re gross for wanting to hit women lol